Friday, January 11, 2008

Conversation with a school nurse


Me: Hello

School Nurse: Hello this is the school nurse from JR's school.

Me: oh (honestly thinking, "oh no do I have to come get him?")

SN: He is just fine, but he was in here because he hit his head on a desk. School Policy says that whenever there is a head injury we have to inform the parents.

Me: OK (seems like a good policy)

SN: (continuing) But he is awake and alert and all neurological signs have been checked. I am sure he will be just fine.

Me: Great (as long as I don't have to go get him, yipee!)

SN: In fact he was feeling well enough that he asked for a candy cane before he left my office.

Me: Ha, you didn't give it to him, did you? (becoming a bit apprehensive, head injuries don't scare me near as badly as a food reaction, and JR's reaction to red dye #40 is the worst!)

SN: Well yes, I let him take it back to class, why wouldn't I?

Me: Because of his food allergies....

SN: No I have his folder right here and under allergies it says Allergies to food and Seasonal Allergies.

Me: (pause, waiting for her to make the obvious does not happen)

Me: Yes food, like a candy cane, I am sure I wrote on his form and told the nurse that was there at registration that he was not to have any food unless it was sent from home or I was called first.

SN: Well that would have been me because I was the one at registration and I would have remembered that. (a bit snotty)

SN: Well if that is the case I need to email all of his teachers.

Me: Yes, I asked you too and you had me fill out a special form waiving some privacy rights so that you could. (I was at the little table hunched over filling out form after form)

Me: But that's okay, I emailed his teachers anyway at beginning of the year just in case .....(just in case I was dealing with an idiot..).

SN: Well I'd better contact his teacher for the class he just went back to.

Me: Yes (Duh, You think?)

Me: Well you don't need to worry about him stopping breathing... (why am I reassurring her?!)

SN: Well no, his head injury was no where near that bad.

Me: (GASP WTF) No. From. The. Food. Allergy.

SN: oh


Tanya said...

That is why my mom homeschools my sisters who have lots of food / fragrance allergies. The public schools here just don't get it.

Its amazing how dumb people can be.

I hope she managed to rescue him from the killer red dye. Maybe you should have suggested she babysit him for the next 5 days while he was getting over his reaction. Bet she wouldn't' forget again. ;)

Manic Mom said...

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope to God you call the principal to have a discussion about that idiot!!!

Manic Mom said...

Robin, you really need to update your blog more often--i keep coming over here when you leave me hilarious comments!

Kathryn said...

Oh My God, did he eat it? This is the kind of crap I have had to deal with too. THere is really no excuse for this, you know?

Robin said...

Manic, you are the only one, I mean the number one person that reads this.

Kathryn, he said he gave it to a friend and that was his intent all along. Yeah right.

Michelle O'Neil said...

And by nurse....they mean...? Seriously...does she have a degree?

Bina said...

Oh Good Lord! Where do they find these people??? Should they really be caring for our children????

Leila said...

Thanks for writing this.