School Nurse: Hello this is the school nurse from JR's school.
Me: oh (honestly thinking, "oh no do I have to come get him?")
SN: He is just fine, but he was in here because he hit his head on a desk. School Policy says that whenever there is a head injury we have to inform the parents.
Me: OK (seems like a good policy)
SN: (continuing) But he is awake and alert and all neurological signs have been checked. I am sure he will be just fine.
Me: Great (as long as I don't have to go get him, yipee!)
SN: In fact he was feeling well enough that he asked for a candy cane before he left my office.
Me: Ha, you didn't give it to him, did you? (becoming a bit apprehensive, head injuries don't scare me near as badly as a food reaction, and JR's reaction to red dye #40 is the worst!)
SN: Well yes, I let him take it back to class, why wouldn't I?
Me: Because of his food allergies....
SN: No I have his folder right here and under allergies it says Allergies to food and Seasonal Allergies.
Me: (pause, waiting for her to make the obvious conclusion..............it does not happen)
Me: Yes food, like a candy cane, I am sure I wrote on his form and told the nurse that was there at registration that he was not to have any food unless it was sent from home or I was called first.
SN: Well that would have been me because I was the one at registration and I would have remembered that. (a bit snotty)
SN: Well if that is the case I need to email all of his teachers.
Me: Yes, I asked you too and you had me fill out a special form waiving some privacy rights so that you could. (I was at the little table hunched over filling out form after form)
Me: But that's okay, I emailed his teachers anyway at beginning of the year just in case .....(just in case I was dealing with an idiot..).
SN: Well I'd better contact his teacher for the class he just went back to.
Me: Yes (Duh, You think?)
Me: Well you don't need to worry about him stopping breathing... (why am I reassurring her?!)
SN: Well no, his head injury was no where near that bad.
Me: (GASP WTF) No. From. The. Food. Allergy.